What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear Grandma got run over by a reindeer?
- Liability insurance coverage.
- Vehicular manslaughter.
- No fruitcake this Christmas.
If your answer is 1 or 2, perhaps you’ve been working a little too hard.
Maybe you need a break.
Which can be hard to do with deadlines approaching, casework piling up and days growing shorter – not to mention having to endure the seasonal sonic assault of stress-inducing songs about wild animals on rooftops, overweight trespassers in chimneys, and jolly elves in jingly shoes.
10 Christmas Songs That Can Give Attorneys Nightmares
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. Visions of adultery, alienation of affection, and alimony dance in your head.
2. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. It was at that late hour you bolted upright in bed with the terrifying realization that you had missed an important deadline earlier in the day.
3. Barking dogs Jingle Bells. Half the cases in your file cabinet are dogs, and their incessant yapping keeps you awake at night.
4. Justin Bieber’s White Christmas. Chilling. No elaboration necessary.
5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Your partner’s drinking is getting out of control.
6. All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth. Dental coverage is no longer included in your group health insurance policy.
7. The Little Drummer Boy. You encourage your child’s musical aspirations but cannot understand why the drum kit has to go in the living room and must be used only when you’re taking a nap.
8. Frosty the Snowman. Why is the judge acting so cold and distant? Why is the clerk refusing to make eye contact? Why is the bailiff walking your way?
9. Up On the Housetop. That clatter of tiny hooves from above is actually the sound of angry clients trying to claw their way into your office and recover their case files.
10. Santa Claus is Coming to Town. And the State Bar’s trust account auditors are coming to your district.
Merry Christmas, baby. And keep Grandma off the road.
Jay Reeves a/k/a The Risk Man is an attorney licensed in North Carolina and South Carolina. Formerly he was Legal Editor at Lawyers Weekly and Risk Manager at Lawyers Mutual. His favorite Christmas song is Santa’s Got A Bag of Soul by the Soul Saints Orchestra. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org, phone 919-619-2441.